Hole In One
by NicCageLover49
Summary: This is just a comedic story where Troy Bolton and the crew meet some new people XD, and they just have fun. It goes more into real high school life and less of the "musical" Part. Kind of an A/U. Warning: Intense Language (i.e. foul language).
1. Chapter 1

Summary: This is just a comedic story where Troy Bolton and the crew meet some new people XD, and they just have fun. It goes more into real high school life and less of the "musical" Part. Kind of an A/U. Warning: Intense Language (i.e. foul language)

**A/N: I apologize if there is incorrect grammar. This my first story so I hope this goes well XD. Reviews are nice too. Also sorry if the stuff about basketball or plays don't make sense.**

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((Junior year)) ((Monday: January 19th)) ((basketball, since i am not a sports person, will go for however long i make it))

"Ayeee Troy" said Chad walking with his friend down the hallway. "Ya ready for some fun after school meh boy?"

"Uh Gabriella and I might meet at the Dairy Factory tonight for some cream to make everything official." replied Troy. Then a chick as hot as the nearest star walked by.

"Holy Guac who is that?" asked Chad.

"Alexandra Blanco" replied some helpless boy who was pining over the hottie.

"Alexandra Blanco" Troy mumbled, "she is...amazing"

"What was that Troy?" asked Chad a little confused.

"Eh, nothing so wanna go get some cream?"

"Ooo you know it!" Chad loved ice cream so this excited him.

The boys were off to the cafeteria to get some ice cream and talk to their friends. Troy couldn't stop thinking about this girl, Alexandra Blanco. In the cafeteria, they went and sat at their table with their friends.

"Yo Whats up swagmasters." said Troy as he arrived at the table.

"Never say that again...ever" Chad said.

"S. T. F. U." Troy said agitated.

"What does that mean?" asked Gabriella as she walked up to Troy.

"It means shut the fuck up honey." replied Alexandra Blanco as she strolled over.

"Um... Troy?" asked Gabriella, "Do you know her."

"No i've only seen her o-once" Troy stuttered out.

"You interested in her?"

*ahem* "Not at all sweetheart"

"Kay good." Gabriella said as she turned to Alexandra, "Damn girl you be looking fine. Where did you come from? Neiman Marcus 'cause you be expensive."

"Okay honey listen up this delicate temple is for male visitors only." Alexandra said to Gabriella, but then she turned to Troy "But you can be a permanent monk if you'd like." She added a wink. Gabriella looked at Troy waiting for him to turn her down, but Troy was to busy well... being a male. She cleared her throat impatient with her soon to be boyfriend.

"Oh I'm taken sorry you look hella nice tho" Troy replied not removing his gaze. Alexandra was a beautiful tall white girl with dirty blonde hair. She was wearing a low cut top for her first day of school. Troy half wished she hadn't, so he could focus on other things.

After Lunch, Troy finally found a moment without Garibella to talk to Chad in private. More specifically to talk about Alexandra in private.

"HER TITS ARE MESMERIZING!" Troy told chad on the walk to his next class.

"Dude she's nein. That means OFF LIMITS. I mean come on you've got a girl!" Chad replied.

"Chad" the tall white boy stated, "I think you're just mad that i called dibs..."

"The fuck you mean you 'called dibs'? bro code specifically states that any dame is fair game when she a side hoe!"

"MAYBE SHES NOT A SIDE HOE!" Troy yelled as he walked into Mr. Munsungi's science classroom.

"Troy my desk now." Mr. Munsungi ordered. Troy slowly walked to the black haired teacher's desk. Mr. Munsungi was an odd teacher. Some believed he was chinese, some believed plain ole american, but no one knew for sure. Munsungi had green tips to go with his black hair, and he always wore the most expensive clothes (even with a teachers salary). Many people wondered how he could afford such luxury. The hoes that followed him only took his money; they did not question how it was obtained. To Troy Munsungi was a role model and was all Troy could hope to be when he grew up.

"Hey, if you know a girl who's a side hoe damn boy HMU FAM." Munsungi whispered.

"I know a few dudes who are open for that kind of stuff... but no girls"

"Bitch please I just heard you talkin to afro man over there about some sweet ass and I want in on this business." Then Munsungi thought of something "Hey Fresh Prince of Bel Aire get over here."

"Yes sir" Chad said baffled by the name.

"Who is this ho you were..."

Munsungi was cut off by none other than Ryan Evans: "You called me."

"Unless you a stylish african Oh-merican I suggest you go back to your desk twinkle toes."

"Whatever. No wait. Mr. Green tipped photipnia. You need to get yourself straight cause damn are you gay. You only asking for these hoes cause you are gay. " Ryan said as he stormed off.

"You of all people calling me gay... thats so inappropriate for a person of ... your stature... besides thats not an insult thats a way of life" Munsingi replied, he was an activist for gay rights and wasn't afraid to rant about his passion to his students using the word "gay" as an insult.

The bell rang as Ryan was angrily(because he felt rejected) taking his seat. Principle Matsui then entered the room for a teacher check-in. Munsungi quickly ushered the boys to their seats and began teaching some random science lesson he was reading out of the book. Once the principal, left he could resume being a slack off.

While Munsungi read his boring ass science lesson, Troy began to make conversation with this girl named Dabney McRenry. Let's just say Dabney McRenry was his best gal friend.

"I'm serious Dabs, this Alexandra chick was hot AF." Troy said smiling at the memory.

"Aight I will admit that she is pretty good lookin," Dabney said while twirling her pencil. " She ain't got nothin on Katrina though."

"You really like Kat don't you?" Troy said awkwardly. Troy looked at the lame "SCIENCE IS RADICAL" poster on the wall. _yeah right like that noob can even skate... ._ Thought Troy.

"Shut up man. Kat is bae and you will never dis her uh I mean him!" Dabney corrected.

"Okay whatever new topic. Gabriella wants to get some cream at the Dairy Factory tonight but how can i share a cream with one girl when i wanna cream another *ahem* share a cream with another girl."

"Okay fine say that your dad is not letting you leave the house because…. he wants you to throw some baseballs in the hoops to make all the touchdowns and hopefully a hole in one."

"If I tell her exactly what you just said she will not believe me because that is wrong on so many levels."

"Well why don't you just tell her the truth then?"

"Hole in one it is!"

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**A/N: So how did you enjoy the first chapter? Review! hope you liked it!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So thanks for all of you who read and those reviews really inspired me! I know it wasn't that many reviews, but i hope there will be more in the future! **

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Chapter 2

(End of school that day)

"Hey babeh," Troy said in a deep voice as he walked up to Gabriella at her locker, "about tonight. I've gotta shoot some-" At that very moment Alexandra walked by. Troy's mind went blank and he sputtered "*ahem* i've gotta shoot some uh some footballs with my dad."

"Uhhhuh yeah, my eyes are up here, not on Alexandra's ass.." Snapped Gabriella.

"Huh? Oh I'm just comparing your ass and hers." Troy said quickly trying not to make the girl mad.

"Mines better right?" Gabriella asked as she began to compare asses as well.

"Excuse me?" Alexandra said, "I would love it if you would stop staring at my ass. I'm only into men." Alexandra then proceeded to take a minute to check out Troy. "Oh, and since we're checking out asses here. You have a nice one." She said while looking at Troy.

Troy blushed; he Legitly blushed. It was red as a white boys bare ass after being slapped ten times by John Cena(he's a wrestler BTW).

"I see the one," Troy began singing "because she be that lady! Hey! I feel you creeping, I can see it from my shadow Wanna jump in my Lamborghini Gallardo Maybe got to my place and just kick it like TaeBo and possibly bend you over look back and watch me. Smack that all on the floor Smack that give me some more Smack that 'til you get sore((Smack that by Akon and Eminem))" but Alexandra interrupted him and now Chad who had joined in.

"Is this a regular thing for this high school?" she asked

''It's regular when we see an ass as prime as yours babeh" said Dabney. Then Dabney began to laugh and took Alexandra by the arm to explain this weird school.

"*ahem* Troy you were saying something about football?" Gabriella asked.

"Oh ohhh ohhhhhhhhhh can we reschedule?"

"Fine." Gabriella slammed her locker and walked off with a huff.

"MAYBE WE SHOULD SING ABOUT OUR FEELINGS!" suggested Dabney, cupping her hands over her mouth to make sure that everyone around heard their cue.

Then Troy began singing "You find me offensive I find you offensive for finding me offensive."

Gabriella piped "It must be the ganja, It's the marijuana that's creeping all up on me while I'm so high"

"I killed superman I killed supah-man" sung Troy.

"Ugh whatever I have to go and since you cancelled you better NOT be hanging with Alexandra." Gabriella scoffed angrily.

Troy leaned against the lockers head in his hands. _What do i do? _he thought _I have two beautiful options, but who do i go after ugh. _Then a familiar person came up to him and nudged him with her shoulder.

"Hey, look It'll be okay." the girl said.

Troy looked up and smiled a weary smile. "Thanks that means a lot. I just don't know who to choose. They are both very attractive."

Monika Bengs, the girl, looked at him with a soft smile. "Look buddy just follow your heart."

"But…" Troy had a sad face. Monika now stood in front of him and gave him an encouraging smile. Troy smiled back weakly.

Monika still with the encouraging smile said in a soft motherly like voice, "Hey little bitch suck it up or go suck Chad 'cause you're acting like a complete fucktard." Then as kindly as she said those words she slapped him across the face just like a mother would when helping out their hormonal son.

"What the-" Monika left as suddenly as she came leaving Troy baffled. Daphne McRenry(Dabney's evil and well straight twin sister) walked up to the red faced Troy. She took one look at him and grimaced.

"You look ew." she began to walk away but continued talking, "But you're my sister's best friend for some odd reason so whats your prob?"

"What's my problem?", Troy whispered lowly. "What's my PROBLEM?!", he increases in volume as his face begins to contort into dangerously fugly territories. "WHAT'S MY PRUHBLUHM? I'll tell you my problem! My problem is that not only am I stuck between two glorious, beautiful...round...", here, Troy begins to daze off, drooling enough water to fill the Nile as Sir Mixalot's 'I Like Big Butts' play in the background. He snaps out of it and continues with his rant. "Not only am I stuck between picking two hot pieces of ASS. I also have to worry about my sexual orientation! Ever since that awesome, glorious, and beautiful BAMF Monika Bengs told me to suck my Chaddie's *ahem* Hostess brand twinkies, I've been having this weird fuzzy feeling in my tummy." He turns to Daphne, the evil little slut who Troy always unreasonably hated because she shared the same name as that two-faced whore from Scooby, and pouted with tears tinkling down his face like how a mutt's piss will do to a fire hydrant and says, " I don't know what it is, but I like it."

"Uhhh well according to this website I mean u could just be umm what's the word it says man eccentric but I think it means gay." Daphne said hoping this helped at all because even though this guy was some weirdo jock boy it was her sisters friend and as much as she didn't act like it she loved her sister. "So" she continued as she closed her tablet case, "to gay or not to gay that is the question my boy."

Then as if it was the universe answering his questioñ Alexandra walked up, but Alexandra kinda tripped. She also fell towards Troy. Therefore, her big boulders smashed into his face.

She smelled like burritos. It was nice. _Welp I'm not gay bitches_ thought Troy as he tried not to move between the pretty sweet boobies.

Alexandra slowly moved back and readjusted herself and said "Uh woops I tripped I'd say sorry but I doubt u minded" She walked away bored with being at school.

"Aye Troy what's wrong, you look like a dolphin stole your penis." Said another female friend of his.

"Hay Sarah" he said to the girl in front of him she wore a regular show dress and Star Wars high heels. The dress was skimpy too.

Sarah Grains looked at the boy who was eyeing her. "Whaddup"

"I'm feeling bi curious and I like two different girls so yah thas bout it. My life sucks blah blah blah some other shit I don't feel like talking about"

"Well according to Dave Ramsey whenever a person is feelin-" sarah trailed off being distracted by a fight about to happen.

"KEEP YO HANDS OFF MY GIRL!" a buff male student yelled as punches were blindly thrown towards another student.

"I DONT WANT YOUR GURL I'M GAY YOU DUMB but I do want them digits hmu" said the scrawny male student snapping his fingers with a wink.

"Ahem... as I was saying... oh hey Alexandra!" Sarah joined her friend and walked off not thinking twice about the confused basketball player. Troy decided it was best to just go home.

(Later at his house)

Troy say in his bed contemplating his options. This was a hard decision he thought. Then his saving grace Dabney climes through the window.

"Hey bud what's up?" She said.

"Give Ya one guess" he replied looking glumly at his shoes.

"Okay I'm tired of you moping around. If you really wanna figure out who you should be with go on a date with both of them. Or well at least try to. Take them both, on separate occasions of course, to Lil Paul's Pizzer Town and while eating say 'this pizza is aggressive' if she understands there Ya go. If not, they out the door." Dabney explained while using big hand gestures to prove some point.

"Alright, but what if they both get it or both don't?"

"If they both get it then tell them what you did and see if one gets angry and doesn't wanna be with you. If they both don't then well they aren't for you tudah"

Troy sat there for a minute and then nodded and said "alright I'll try".

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! Please review! Maybe even tell us how you think it's going! Do you like this direction? **

*******_Coming up_:*******

•**Who will understand the reference?**

•**Does Dabney find a new love?**

•**Is it sharpay!?**

•**Is Ryan truly gay?**

**Keep reading to find out!**

**The songs used were:**

**"Smack That" - Akon and Eminem**

**"Rain man" -Eminem**

**"Must Be the Ganja" - Eminem **

**Any other songs yall want?**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: oh and btw I do not own High school musical or any of their characters sadly….tear.**

Chapter 3:

(School the next day)

"Hey pretty lady." Troy said to Alexandra as he was preparing to ask her out on a date to Lil Paul's.

"Hmm? Oh hey shhhh." was Alexandra's reply.

"Uh. why?" Troy whispered to Alexandra, who looked annoyed that he continued to talk.

"Ugh Fine," Alexandra said after a while because Troy kept poking her to get her attention. She was staring down the hall intensely and was not about to stop. "Sharpay Evans is flirting like MAD with Dabney, and lemme tell ya Dabney keeps rejecting her its kinda funny. I'm trying to see if Dabney's rejecting her by playing hard to get or if she simply isn't in to Sharpay."

"Why so interested in Dabney's love life."

"Well, she is one of my best friends I've had since starting here, her and that Sarah chick." Alexandra kept her eyes down the hall, but then she slowly turned around glaring at Troy," Waiiiit, why do you care? Have a crush on her?"

"No do you?" Troy asked sheepishly.

"Of course," Alexandra deadpanned.

"WHAT!?" Troy basically screamed at the top of his lungs. This caused Dabney to start walking towards them with Sharpay following quickly behind.

"Whats with the raucous?" asked Dabney. Alexandra couldn't help herself any longer she busted out laughing. Troy, on the other hand, became red once more.

"What's so funny?" asked Sharpay who was looking at her outfit to make sure it wasn't at her.

"Oh, nothing just that I told Troy that I have a crush on you." Alex answered while pointing at Dabney, "and i'm pretty sure he had a heart attack."

"Well, you do i mean come on look at all this." Dabney winked at Alex then gestured to her body.

"Oh, of course who wouldn't have a crush on you?" Sharpay cut in.

"DAVE RAMSEY IS A GENIUS YOU CAN SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH IF YOU THINK OTHERWISE LITTLE SLUT TO THINK I WAS GONNA PRETEND TO WANNA SLEEP WITH YOU! BITCH GET DA FUQ OUT MEH WAY FUDGE BROWNIE!" Sarah yelled with an angry look on her face. Everyone turned their head to watch as Sarah yelled obscene things to Chad. Alex and Sharpay watched amused at the scene, and as the two girls were distracted, Troy took the chance to talk to Dabney alone for a second.

"Hey, Dabney." Troy whispered, "Can you meet me after school so we can talk?"

"Uh, sure." Dabney replied obviously distracted.

(After School)

Troy sat on a bench outside waiting for Dabney at the usual spot; however, Dabney had yet to show up. Troy waited rather impatiently for about an hour then finally gave up. He got in his truck and drove to The Hang(an ice cream/italian food place) because he was hangry. Once there, he glumly walked to the door, but something caught his eye. Dabney and Sharpay were sitting in a booth sharing a milkshake. He started towards the door but decided against it. He decided to spy and see how it played out. After the milkshake, the two girls began to eat spaghetti. Then, of course a lady and the tramp moment came up. They both had a noodle in their mouths, but guess what. It was the same noodle, Sharpay excitedly leaned in ready for a kiss, but Dabney ate the rest of the noodle making sure not to kiss Sharpay.

Troy had almost had it. Dabney stood him up for THAT. He still wanted to know why. _Fine I'll continue to follow them _he thought. The duo was already out the front door which startled Troy, so he dove into a nearby set of bushes. Troy followed them all the way back to Dabney's house. Sharpay led Dabney front door, and Dabney went willingly. Troy got close enough to hear what was going on.

"So, uh, how abt that, uh goodnight kiss?" Sharpay asked.

"What the fuck woman i IS Heterosexual, Damn, why does this always happens. Just because my boyfriend is named Katrina." Dabney began ranting, "Shit i had a crush on Nic cage in 5th grade, don't you remember. I even stood up in front of the class and said 'for Valentines day don't bother giving me a card cuz my one true love is Nicolas Cage. He is my valentine with his hot bod' then i sat my lil ass down and drew pictures of my wedding with him. Damn gurl i was in your class too. Hell in 7th grade i started the 'Dabney needs a boyfriend' club. and I ASKED YOU IF YOU WOULD HELP. Damn woman you have the memory of my bed, and guess what it ain't memory foam!"

Sharpay frowned at these words. She had really thought that this Dabney was the one, but i guess not. She began to walk away whenever dabney beckoned her back. "Wait," Dabney began, "Look girl i know you like girls and all so imma hook you up Ratchel Jew is one of my best friends and is Bi, so good luck with that one, here." Dabney scribbled something on Sharpays arm. "This is Ratchel's number, Oh and if u say Moist or crusty you won't have a shot with her. Jus' sayin'"

Sharpay smiled and took off into the night. Meanwhile, Troy was hiding in some bushes by Dabney's porch. While he basically stalked Dabney, he kinda slipped from his positions and caused a board to fall and hit a bucket. Basically there was a lot of noise, but somehow Dabney didn't hear it.

However, two familiar voice came from beside him. "What's with the raucous?" Daphne asked.

"Yeah Boi what are you doing in her bushes." Sarah said as she pointed to Daphne.

"Yeah why are you in my bushes."

Before Troy got a chance to explain, Alexandra walked up and took the conversation wrong. "Woah Woah Woah Woah I thought you were into mè? But here you are playing in some other girl's bushes? Wow you are just leave me alone okay…"

"Woah now, no need to use those puns on me!" Troy exclaimed, jumping out of the bushes, "And plus these bushes aren't as trimmed as yours, so uhhh umm *ahem* I like yours better…..uh…..what am I talking about?" Troy as red as a man who was just caught munging ran off towards his house extremely embarrassed.

Alexandra smirked, "That boy is smitten. So when we do get together he is gonna be whipped." Alexandra then laughed and headed off to her home. Sarah followed her lead and headed out as well. This left Daphne alone near some bushes. She then stripped naked, dove in the bushes and masturbated until the sun came up…..or she did.

**A/N: well thanks for my loyal readers hope you enjoyed this! It has been awhile sorry it's short too but more chapter on the way:) please review:)()()()()()**


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